Monday, December 5, 2011

Day in the Life of an (Almost) Two Year Old

Come stumbling down the hall at 6:45 to find your mommy at the dining room table.
Complain that the lights are too bright.
Insist she snuggle you just so, when she doesn't do it right, reposition her hands in the proper places.
Watch a bit of Blue's Clues.
Wander back over to mommy, insist upon more snuggling.
 Return to Blue's Clues.
Steal a few cheerios from the siblings' bowls in spite of the fact you have your own.
Use the open dishwasher as a step-stool to pour yourself another bowl.
Miss the bowl.
Mommy sweeps cheerios out of dishwasher.
Inform Mommy that "I pooped" in the night-time diaper.
Upon inspection Mommy discovers that yes, you did.
Finish up business on the potty.
Mommy takes a shower, finds you on the counter of the bathroom when she gets done.
Discovers you had stuck a "feminine product" in your pajama pants.
She laughs a lot and updates her facebook status.
The school day begins, your job as class jester begins.
You pretend you are a doggie eating the girls' books.
You color a snowman picture orange.
You throw a book.
You sneak over the back of the couch while Mommy is reading and bop her on the head with the "push popper"
Mommy was not happy.
You cheer "Yay chili!" when you discover Mommy making it for lunch.
While your sisters  and Mommy head up lunch clean-up you decide you are quite a mess.
Mommy finds you in the bathtub naked, getting ready to draw yourself a bath.
Mommy sighs.
Eventually, it is naptime.  You sleep.
You wake up too soon, distraught, "I peed!!!" you wail.
Mommy strips you of your pants and tries to get you to go back to sleep.  You complain of being cold.  She covers you up.  You don't want blankets on you, you want to tuck yourself under Mommy's legs just so and rob body-heat.  She informs you that you are being ridiculous.
Naptime is abandoned.
You notice your three oldest siblings outside in snow.
You find a hat, a mitten, and one boot and dress yourself.
Mommy says no snow.  You are not pleased.
She bribes you with a bit of peppermint ice cream.
You are delighted.
Mommy works on supper, you pull up your chair to help.
You find a clementine and a steak knife and set about starting to peel it.
When Mommy realizes what you have in hand you have already managed to nick your finger with the knife.
You eat your clementine happily.  Then you ask for a banana.
Mommy hesitates, will you really eat it?
You really want the banana.  She peels it.
You aren't interested.
Granny calls on the phone. 
Mommy talks to Granny while finishing supper prep, you take it upon yourself to salt and pepper the mashed potatoes.
Granny says she better let Mommy go.
Mommy hangs up, you ask, "Who was that?"
We eat supper.  You have a 2nd bath.
You complain of being cold.
Mommy wraps you in a blanket on the couch.
Your sisters pull out the violins to practice.
You leave your position on the couch and climb on Mommy's back.
"I'm up here!" you wave to your sisters.
They are working on Christmas duets.
"Ready, Go!!" you say, starting them over and over.  They are in fits of giggles.
You have a naked chase with your brothers all over the house, you carry a bag with a hamburger bun, periodically stopping for a bite.
You're being sought after by a four year old wielding a long un-peeled carrot.
Mommy sighs again . . . eyes the clock . . . when will Daddy be home from wrestling?
Daddy's home!
You climb upon the kitchen counter naked, announce proudly, "I'm up here!" and then jump into your Daddy's arms.
While a game of Sorry gets underway Mommy slinks off to reflect upon the day . . .
and gear up for tomorrow. 
She wonders what she has gotten herself into.


1 comment:

Anna said...

Oh, Dear--what a busy mama you are! This is a great posting, you had me chuckling at all the little antics that come with a two-year-old. :)