Monday, September 19, 2011

Moving On

Today is the beginning of week three post-move.  We found ourselves back at school this morning and for the most part it was good to be back in that routine.  Jackson's kindergarten "lesson" involved him spending two hours working on a small Lego semi . . . and while maybe I should have cracked open the books, how crazy would I have been to interrupt such intense concentration? ;o)

So, the whole moving thing?  I'd like to tell you all I have sailed through this little life change quite breezily.  Truth is, it has probably been the hardest on me.  I told Josh yesterday I was now two days without crying.  He looked at me as if I had sprouted two heads, "You've been crying every day??!" he asked incredulously.

"Oh yes," I replied, "In fact, several times throughout the day."

"I'm glad I wasn't there to see it!" he exclaimed, compassionate and caring person that he is. ;o)  While I might err on the side of feeling too much, he would (of course) be on the opposite end of the spectrum. Anymore I find this amusing how completely opposite we are (wasn't quite so funny those first few years of marriage . . .). ;o)

And go me, but I just might make it through today tear-free too! I have no idea if two weeks of crying is a normal way to adjust to one's new surroundings, but I guess that's how I do things.  Even though I told my silly self that it's "just three hours" the truth is everything has changed.  My routines, the places I visit, my knowledge of where everything is located in stores . . . it's all different now.  I have stumbled through each day all thick-headed and clumsy-like, lacking greatly the smoothness and efficiency I enjoyed in the familiar surroundings of Lincoln.  And I have missed.  If I know you, I miss you.  I have missed serving in the orchestra at church, missed the "orchestra people," I have missed the predictability of the school year schedule and all the activities we would be doing but can't.  I have missed my Wednesday evening kid drop-off at my in-laws . . . after nearly ten years of doing so!  Ten years of leisurely chatting about life and gardening and recipes and decorating with my mom-in-law--oh how I miss that!  I miss the ability to decide something on a whim . . . a visit to my parents, a morning of playing with my sister's kids.  I miss it all!  That's not been easy.

But I like to think I may have turned a corner?  After a few weeks of curling up in fetal position and bawling my eyes out and telling myself, "Your blog is called "A Steadfast Life" not "An Unstable Life!!!"  I think I have re-emerged from that fog. (I didn't REALLY curl up in fetal position . . . well, maybe once . . .). ;o)  I'm starting to figure this new life out, and that is definitely a good feeling.  Especially since my favorite season is upon us and the crying was really putting a damper on the fall celebrating.  I think some apple cider donuts are in order!  And perhaps a few other things with "apple" or "pumpkin" in the title . . . ;o)  Life goes on . . . thank you to my praying friends/family, you probably have no idea how your prayers carried me through these last two weeks of what we'll call "adjusting." ;o)


Kathryn said...

Hugs and more hugs, friend! I think we must cope with change in a similar way and 2 weeks of crying, in my opinion, is pretty short and justifiable. (I pretty much freaked Mark out after we were married and I sobbed almost every day about all the change. I had to convince him it had nothing to do with him and just how I handled the adjustment. Poor guy!) Such *big* changes for you all and I know you are trusting the Lord's sovereignty in it's still okay to have a cry....or two...or three...... Thankful that you are seeing some happier days and hope you can enjoy some of those yummy donuts and maybe a chai latte, too!! and p.s. the percussion just doesn't sound the same anymore!!

Anna said...

Oh, Honey, this breaks my heart! (And I TOTALLY get the crying thing--I mean, physical exhaustion + crazy amount of stress + emotional pain from leaving...etc.) I'm so glad to hear things are looking up a bit, and you're getting more used to things. Will send more prayers upwards for you, Dear! ..and I second Kathy's comment about the percussion section. SO lonely without you there. *hugs*

Tiff said...

I can empathize with your feelings all too well, but if anyone can handle it with strength and peace, it would be you, friend.