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Thursday, December 30, 2010

2010--the year of stillness

What stillness meant this year . . .

It meant combined hours and hours of nursing a baby, having definite stops and breaks during the day to tend to his needs--I always forget how lovely those are.  Sometimes when I get busy in a project I can resent having to stop, and I wouldn't stop if I didn't have to.  Owen forced me to stop and slow life to accommodate him.  Little breaks, pockets of stillness, are good things.

It meant being the most consistent I have ever (EVER!) been in a regular morning time in God's Word.  I still didn't do it perfectly.  And I still have to consciously make my wandering thoughts pay attention at times (I'm not sure how it's possible to be "reading" and have my eyes moving down a page but totally thinking of something else, but it is a skill I do quite well . . .).

It meant realizing that the quieter and less busy I keep my life (as in staying at home and not needing to be somewhere every day) the happier I am. 

It meant loneliness sometimes too, learning to accept that there are Good Things out there, but at the stage of life I'm in, I can't do them.  I read somewhere that when you say YES to something, you are also saying NO to something else.  Saying YES to five children means saying NO to so many other things right now.

It has meant being content in what sometimes feels like stagnancy--Josh in school, we continue renting . . . Sometimes it feels like we've been in this spot forever and we're not moving forward.  I know we are, we have a plan . . . It's a slow plan though.  I've been honing a content heart for years now, and I think I'm doing the best job I've ever done.

I've learned to truly treasure the moments of quiet and alone time when I get them--they are few and far between--but a wonderful gift when they do occur.  I'm not sure if there is anything more refreshing right now.

I discovered this song this year that I LOVE and fits just perfect, listen to it here.

Still my soul be still, and do not fear though winds of change may rage tomorrow.
God is at your side, no longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow.

Chorus:
God You are my God, and I will trust in You and not be shaken.
Lord of peace renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.

Still my soul be still, do not be moved by lesser lights and fleeting shadows.
Hold onto His ways with shield of faith against temptations flaming arrows.

Chorus:

God You are my God, and I will trust in You and not be shaken.
Lord of peace renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.

Still my soul be still, do not forsake the Truth you learned in the beginning.
Wait upon the Lord and hope will rise as stars appear when day is dimming.

Chorus:

God You are my God, and I will trust in You and not be shaken.
Lord of peace renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.

1 comment:

Anna said...

Love your description and looking back at the blessings of the past year--and what a great 'theme song' for your sweet family and where the Lord has brought you..I see a beautiful lady inside & out who loves the Lord and excels in everything she pursues..and constantly encourages me to do the same! Here's to an even better coming year--thanks for being a great example. *hugs*